Christian Bale and Sibi Blazic Expecting a Second Child

I’m sure that one of Hollywood’s royal hot-couples-of-the-moment will be placed on official Baby Bump Watch really soon.

Honestly, I’m not sure what the big friggin’ deal is about watching for baby bumps anyway. It’s always the same song and dance.

The tabloids typically report that all of a sudden, a tummy bump has appeared on (insert any random female celebrity’s name here) and one of two things usually ends up happening:

a) The celebrity’s publicist (aka: Handsomely Paid Liar) will deny it and 4 months later, the celebrity will be photographed with what appears to be a smuggled basketball under her expensive designer shirt or;

b) It turns out that the celebrity actually just ate something and *GASP!* happened to get a little bump in her belly.

Christian Bale and Sibi Blazic

However, I admittedly was a little surprised by the news of the possibility that our favorite Caped Crusader and his lovely wife may be expecting child #2, especially with all the recent rumors of them experiencing some trouble in their 8-year marriage out there (who the hell hasn’t had “trouble” in their marriages?).

MSNBC.com reports that a “source” spotted Blazic perusing nursery items in Los Angeles, and then she bought an ivory-colored changing pad.

“People buy items for friends all the time,” says a Bale source. “Doesn’t mean you should read into it.”

Exactly!

Just because I’ve been spotted buying a few cases of beer, a child’s inflatable wading pool, a pallet of strawberry Jell-O, and 20 containers of Cool Whip at my local Costco doesn’t necessarily mean I’m throwing a Jell-O wrestling party this weekend.

Or does it? Hmm….

 

Batman Likes It On Top

Unless you’ve been taking residence with a family of stinky yetis in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains for the past month, you should know all about the blockbuster hit of the summer, The Dark Knight, by now.

This movie just continues to kick serious ass week after week at the box office, no matter what movie tries to defeat its perilous reign:

Step Brothers …… check

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor …… check

Pineapple Express …… check

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 …… um, double check

And if you haven’t seen it yet, shower that yeti stank off because you really DO NEED to go see this movie in a theater setting (IMAX is even better) – it truly is an experience you’ll never forget.

It’s kinda like having sex while eating a heaping tub of buttery, artery-clogging popcorn and washing it down with an over-priced, over-sized cup of Pepsi .

Yeah, it’s just that good. Why do you think I’m going back for thirds this week?

 

Bernie Mac is Dead at 50 – Say it Ain’t So America

This is not how I particularly like to start my days. I typically like to focus on weird and amusing stories that elicit a “what the F?” response from me, not serious ones like this story.

However, I am a huge Bernie Mac fan – LOVED the Bernie Mac Show. Even though it’s not the greatest movie ever, I watch Guess Who whenever it’s playing on a cable station. He just cracks my ass up and I love watching his comedic genius.

Unfortunately, all that ass-cracking has come to an end as Bernie passed away in a Chicago hospital this morning from complications due to pneumonia. I’m really surprised by this news because as of Thursday, the reports were that he was in stable condition. He was only 50.

So America – say a little prayer for one of the best comedians of our time and his family.

Godspeed, Bernie. You will be missed.

Shown on Yahoo News

 

Paris Hilton The … Superhero?

Though totally unplanned, I seem to be on a f*cktard roll today, so I’m not going to slow this f*cktarded train down any time soon.

Personally, I think it’s sacrilegious to discuss the certain class of people known as “f*cktards” without mentioning it’s founding mother and supreme ruler: Paris Hilton. And not only is she a f*cktard, she also happens to be a celebutard. Oooh! I love two-fers!

Starpulse.com reports that the Queen of the Celebutards has reportedly created her own cartoon character with comic book legend Stan Lee. She said, “I’ve created a superhero with Stan Lee, which is (based on) me, and we’re doing a cartoon right now with MTV.”

Shown on Thebosh.com adjusting her balls.

Oh my God. Where do I start? It’s almost like Christmas in August right now. Thank you for the early gift, Paris. I won’t forget you.

Well, since she won’t give away the name of her superhero alter ego, here are a few of my predictions:

Super Snatch

The Brainless Wonder

The Horny Hornet

Wonderwhatthef*ckshewasthinking Woman

She-devil

Princess Poonanny

Queen of the Clap

Starf*cker

The Green Gobbler

These are the first names that popped out of my head. But I’m sure if I really had time to think, I could come up with a bunch more.

What would YOUR superhero name for our favorite celebutard be?

 

Morgan Freeman is Having a Shitty Week

One of the best and most beloved actors of our time is having the shittiest week ever. Poor dude.

First, poor Morgan was involved in a very serious crash with his “lady friend” and both had to be extracted from the vehicle with the jaws of life.  Bummer.

And now, it’s being reported that Morgan and his wife, Myrna, are divorcing after 24 years of marriage.  Bigger bummer.

The National Enquirer reports that in their July 14, 2008 print edition, they broke the exclusive news that Morgan’s marriage was heading for divorce court.  Apparently, Myrna filed for divorce after hearing that Morgan cheated on her.

But in typical Hollywood fashion, Morgan recently denied the story and claimed “he didn’t know anything about it.”

Well, I wonder if he’s gonna know anything about it after he has to hand over 1/2 of his massive The Dark Knight fortune over to Myrna’s divorce lawyer.

Godspeed, Morgan.  Godspeed.

Shown on Nationalenquirer.com