I’m sure you’re reading the headline and asking yourself, “WTF? THIS is news?”

Hey – what can I say? It’s a really slow news day and I just want to take a shower and crash in front of the boob tube for awhile.

Yahoo News reports that one of the candidates in the race to become Fairhope, Alabama’s next mayor is none other than Willie Bean Roscoe P. Coltrane, a 7-year-old yellow Labrador retriever. His owner, Tress Turner, decided to take a satirical poke at politics by launching the slobbering canine into the race.

“When a little dog barks at him, he cringes and he runs away,” owner Tress Turner told the Press-Register in a story Sunday.

Is it just me, or does it sound like ole Willie boy shares the same trait as a certain (cough) current (cough) president?

From Yahoo News

Yahoo News also reports that Willie Bean doesn’t have a realistic shot at being Fairhope’s next mayor since the July 15th qualifying deadline has passed.

Um, even if Willie Bean DID make the July 15th deadline, he wouldn’t have a realistic shot at being the next mayor simply because he ENJOYS LICKING HIS BALLS WAY TOO MUCH AND CRAPS ON THE RUG! Although, that’s not to say that none of Fairhope’s previous mayors weren’t guilty of the same offenses. BOO-YAH! Oh yeah – up high!

However, it may not be too late for Willie Bean to join the Presidential race. I hear they welcome that kind of racy behavior in the White House.

Oh the things Willie Bean could do to a cigar…

Well, this article will really appeal to those of you that make over $1M per year since it’s gonna cost you a cool 200 Grand to sign up. So if you happen to be a Trekkie that makes a lot of bank, this one’s really gonna get your rocks off.

Yahoo News reports that Virgin Galactic, Sir Richard Branson’s space company (yes, that’s right – space company), is showing off its new mothership to the world.

The mothership is basically a pretty, white airplane with room in the middle from where the spaceship (God, I can’t believe I’m actually typing this nonsense) will launch. And interestingly enough, Virgin Galactic hasn’t even started building the actual spaceship. Fancy that.

AP Photo

More than 250 wackjobs customers have already paid either the $200K or a deposit to reserve their spaces in Sir Richard Branson’s fantasy spaceship. I’m sure they’re all in the process of getting some custom spacesuits made right now…

Word on the street is that Tom Cruise is going to greet all the spaceship’s passengers along with Xenu, his little alien friend. Who said he’d never work in Hollywood again?!

What do you think about this crap? Would you shell out $200K to possibly get to outer space?

Wow, this is a headline I never thought I’d read in my lifetime. I was sorting through all my Bloglines headlines and came across this tasty little nugget from People.com, “The Former ‘Pregnant Man’ Debuts His Baby.”

I’m sorry, but am I the only female that feels that the words “pregnant” and “man” should not be contained within the same sentence? I would, however, LOVE to see the words “man” and “severely traumatizing case of PMS” in one sentence. Hey – I’m ALL about equality. If I can be completely miserable once a month for 7 days, why can’t a man share in the hormonal fun?

Now, I did find this little blurb to be quite interesting:

“On June 29 at 8:55 p.m., (Thomas) Beatie, 34, a former female beauty pageant contestant, made cultural history as perhaps the first legally transgender male to give birth, bringing into the world a 9 lbs., 5 oz. baby girl named Susan Juliette.”

Holy shit? This person was a beauty pageant contestant? Really? Where the hell was this and were the judges visually impaired? I just hope that Thomas didn’t have the beard (that looks mysteriously like glued-on pubic hair) while wearing a formal gown for the evening wear portion: I heard that means instant point deduction. I guess that would also apply to not shaving one’s legs or bush for the swimsuit portion. Although I’m not sure what one would do about the massive bulge protruding from the crotch area. Suck and tuck, I guess.

The photo that’s shown on People.com is actually quite cute (in a slightly disturbing way) and the baby is beautiful and I don’t even like babies: give me a furry, drooling, shitting-all-over-the-place puppy any day. Just keepin’ it real here, folks.

Here’s another little tidbit I thought was creepy interesting:

“Both father and daughter came through the birth in perfect health. “I weigh two pounds less than I did before I got pregnant,” adds Thomas. “And I don’t have a single stretch mark!”

There are some questions I wish People would have asked, though:

1. Do your boobs get sore from all the new milk in there?

2. What DID you do to prevent stretch marks?

3. Do your balls begin to sag after giving birth?

Now for all of you independent ladies who claim that they don’t need a man and can be single moms – I think Thomas has y’all beat. This is the story about a single woman who decided she didn’t NEED a man so she decided to BECOME a man and had their own baby. Wow – talk about an overachiever.

So what do YOU think about this story? Delightful or disturbing?

Do you wish YOUR husband could go through the pregnancy process instead of YOU?

C’mon. Dish.