Category Archives: Sports Shit

Gay College Wrestlers? Now THERE’S a Stretch

Even though I generally love sports, I’ve never quite understood wrestling. There’s something so, oh I don’t know, homoerotic about it.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Alleged straight men electing to wear femme leotards, willingly rolling around the floor with strange men in suggestive poses, sometimes putting their heads near their opponents’ balls and/or asses. Gay? Naaaah. Now what made me ever think of THAT?

So ABCnews.com had an interesting little article on their site today. Apparently, two gifted college wrestlers were kicked off Nebraska’s elite wrestling team after nude photos of them appeared on a gay porn Web site.

Too bad – these guys are actually kinda cute. Well, at least the dude on the left is. The one on the right kinda looks like someone took Matt Damon’s face and stretched it out like it was Silly Putty.

According to ABCnews.com, Paul Donahoe and Kenny Jordan, who both wrestled for the Cornhuskers, received undisclosed compensations from the site Fratmentv.com for pictures that showed each of the athletes naked and in various states of sexual arousal.

Shown on ABCnews.com

Shown on ABCnews.com, Paul Donahoe, left, Kenny Jordan, right

John Marsh, owner of Fratmentv.com, told ABCnews.com that the photos have since been pulled from the site. Bummer.

“Virtually all of the guys we shoot are straight, including Mr. Donahoe and Mr. Jordan,” Marsh said. “The reason they call it gay porn is because the primary audience is gay men.”

Sure.

And I’m confident that if I went out and interviewed 10 straight men right now, most of them wouldn’t mind knowing that some horny dude is going to be doing the 5-knuckle shuffle on his Trouser Trout after seeing them featured in the latest gay nudie mag.

Yeah. Right.

Well then, Mr. Marsh. Grab your magic lamp, hop on your favorite unicorn and call me from a banana because I’ve got a beautiful piece of land to sell you in the Everglades.

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Broadway Brett’s Rocket Arm Goes Limp

Geez. Where oh where do I start with this one?

Did I happen to mention my disdain for Mr. Favre lately? Oh yeah, I did that the other day. But let me just reiterate: I HATE BRETT FAVRE! If only for the fact that his last name makes no phonetical sense whatsoever (the damed thing should be spelled F-A-R-V-E). I’m sure English teachers everywhere cringe whenever his name comes up.

So I’m sure the Jets are loving their shiny new Broadway Brett tool toy by now, especially after Wednesday morning’s practice where he fired off quite a few duds because his poor wittle “wocket arm” was tired. Boo hoo.

According to Yahoo News, NFL’s most cryingest quarterback (and Rhodes Scholar apparently) admitted that “I felt 38 today. “I’m not going to lie to you.”

Hmmm. Maybe that’s because YOU ARE 38 YOU MORON! By the way, have I mentioned lately how much I hate Brett Favre?

Shown on Yahoo News

Shown on Yahoo News

And The Genius goes on:

“My arm’s kind of dragging a little bit today,” Favre said. “It’s not really sore, but just fatigued. To be honest with you, I’m surprised that, I don’t want to say I feel good, that I’ve been able to make it through every practice so far.”

AND

“I didn’t throw the ball that well this morning, underthrew some throws,” Favre said. “No pain, but I’m 38 years old. It’s going to be fatigued a little bit.”

I’m sure Coach Eric Mangini is feeling really confident about his latest trade. Boy – I sure am glad I’m not a Jets fan right now. Suckers.

By the way, did I mention how much I hate Brett Favre?

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Hey Favre – Save the Drama for Your Mama

Given the fact that I was born and raised in Chicago, I was bred to be a die-hard Chicago Bears fan which also happens to include the duty of hating Brett Favre.

Every year when the Bears and Packers would face off in the dead of winter, I would put on my Favre-hatin’ hat and tell all the Cheeseheads to “go suck it.” Well, I might not live in Chicago any longer, but I’m still tellin’ the Cheeseheads to “go suck it.” Although these days, I’m proclaiming my faith from my swimming pool with a cold cocktail in my hand …

So being both an avid Bears fan and an avid Fav-ra-ra hater, do you have any idea just how SICK and TIRED I am hearing about all the daily drama surrounding the second coming-and-going of his retirement?!!! ENOUGH ALREADY, you friggin’ primadonna! Get a life and get a hobby!!! Sorry people – old habits are hard to break…

Shown on Yahoo News

Shown on Yahoo News

Okay, yes. So Favre is a three-time MVP and Super Bowl-winning quarterback and may have had a great 2007 season. But are you forgetting his shitty 2005 and 2006 seasons already? He threw 29 interceptions in 2005 (his own record high) and only 20 touchdowns (in comparison, he threw 30 TD’s in 2004). And in 2006, he made 613 pass attempts with 343 completions (56%).

Dude – you gotta know when it’s time to hang it up and walk off the field gracefully with your head held up high. You’re 38 years old and you’ve had a great career. Count all your blessings, count all your millions and move the EFF on already!

But no. Fav-ra-ra can’t handle being out of the spotlight for one second. And now, Yahoo News reports that #4 Fudge Green Bay Packer is now going to be the problem of the New York Jets! Ha ha ha! Hey Jets – you better stock up on the Kleenex ’cause your Broadway Brett is a cryer!

Some manly images of the football great to burn into your brains:

(Warning: These images are not for the faint of heart).

Shown on todaystmj4.com

Shown on todaystmj4.com

Shown on 620wtmj.com

Shown on 620wtmj.com

Shown on community.livinglakecountry.com

Shown on community.livinglakecountry.com

Shown on todaystmj4.com

Shown on todaystmj4.com

Well, Packers fans. I bet you’re really proud of your man now ’cause unfortunately, this is what most of the NFL lovin’ world is going to remember most about Favre. You can thank Broadway Brett’s latest soap opera antics for that.

So tell me. Are YOU as sick as me of hearing about the most cryingist football player in history?

University of Florida Wins Yet ANOTHER Title!

My wonderful husband went to both undergrad and grad schools at the University of Florida (back in the day) so I’m not so sure why he looked so shocked when I relayed this news to him today.

Yahoo News reports that the “prestigious” Princeton Review survey deemed University of Florida as the #1 party school in the nation stealing the title away from West Virginia University and beating out the University of Mississippi and Penn State University. Go Gators!

Unless you live on another planet in a galaxy far far away, you probably know by now that The Gators won two national basketball championships in 2006 and 2007 and one national football title at the end of the 2006 season. And one university spokesman is using these impressive stats as the collective source behind all the non-stop partying.

“The fact that we have three national championships in two years is probably a major contributing factor,” spokesman Steve Orlando said. “We know our students like to have a good time.”

Uh, yeah. Just slightly.

From Yahoo News

From Yahoo News

My darling husband refuses to believe this news and told me that the Princeton Review can just go f*ck itself. Party pooper.

If you’re a Florida Gator, do you agree or disagree with the Princeton Review’s findings?

Also, have you touched Tim Tebow yet? C’mon – I wanna know! What a hunk (swoon)…