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American Idol Adds Another Judge

Wow. After reading this breaking news story, I may have to start a countdown of how many days are left until the launch of the show that has jumped the shark more times than Paris Hilton has tested positive for a yeast infection. That’s hot.

According to, another idiot judge is being added to the panel of “experts” for the train wreck formerly known as American Idol.

Yeah, like adding another mindless dolt is really going to make the shitty show more watchable. I’d rather pluck out my crotch hairs one by one than to subject myself to another torturous 5 months of hell.

So what must-have celebrity is being added to the prestigious panel of know-nothings you ask? Well, none other than Kara DioGuardi of course! (Insert sound of abruptly-stopped party music here).


Yup, that was my first response too. “Who the shit f*ck is that?”

Here she is folks:

Shown on

Shown on

Apparently, I was under the misguided notion that the geniuses at American Idol would have picked somebody that is, oh I don’t know, RELEVANT SO PEOPLE WOULD KNOW WHO THE F*CK IT IS! If it takes a paragraph to explain who the newest “expert” judge is, maybe that wasn’t your best choice.

Here is who the hell she is according to

“DioGaurdi is certainly qualified for the job, having written songs for artists as diverse as Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani, Celine Dion, Faith Hill, Carrie Underwood, Santana, and Pink. Even Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers have released DioGuardiā€™s songs.”

Well after that explanation, I stand corrected.

I can’t wait to watch a show with a star-studded panel of judges comprised of an over-the-hill gangsta wannabe, an obnoxiously-coiffed and mouthed Brit, an “I wish I had a brain and another Xanax” ex-Laker Girl and Ms. Nobody Gives a Shit.

Woo hoo! The countdown’s on bitches!

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