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Man Banned From His Chick’s Snatch Because of Noisy Sex

Ahhhh, the British. God, I love those people. I was a huge Benny Hill and Monty Python fan while growing up, and I can just listen to their lovely accents all day long. They even have the uncanny ability of making “I have to take a shit” sound proper and enchanting. What a talented lot.

But as many of you fellow Benny Hill fans know, they can also lean toward the kinky side. And this next guy and his horny girlfriend are no exception.

According to Yahoo News, the court has banned Adam “I’m a screamer” Hinton, 32, and his talented penis from being within 110 yards of his girlfriend Kerry Norris’ vajayjay apartment because he was schtooping her too hard and very loudly.

What a stud! That man should be given a standing ovation, not a restraining order!

Anyway, residents of Norris’ apartment complex have been complaining since 2006 about thumping music, banging headboards and screamed obscenities.

What’s wrong with that? Sounds like a good time to me. Some people just don’t know how to have any fun.

Yahoo News also reports that neighbors complained about Norris sunbathing naked in her yard, and were upset that a 6-year-old child in the building had been “subjected to the sort of obscenities you wouldn’t want a 6-year-old to hear,” the spokesman said.

I would have given anything to be a little British fly on THAT wall…

God, do I love the British.

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