I don’t know about you, but I’ve been suffering from PEF (Presidential Election Fatigue) for way too long now. I just can’t wait until November 4, 2008, to get this shit over with.
I’m so tired of hearing who’s got the bigger dick or who IS the bigger dick. I’ll make it easy for you guys: YOU’RE ALL DICKS, JUST TO DIFFERENT DEGREES.
And the hypocrisy of political candidates always amuses me (I’m looking at you, John Edwards). I think these guys should just come forward and admit that they’re all horny bastards that cheat on their ugly wives and see if they can all work together to get the economy back in some kind of recognizable shape.
So with this in mind, I got a really big kick out of an article I read on ABCNews.com today about the prediction that prostitution services will spike during the upcoming conventions in Minneapolis and Denver. ABCNews.com goes on to report that Craig’s List ads are indicating that sex workers are preparing themselves for the mad rush.
In Minneapolis, one ad stated “Republican Convention Party Entertainment – Hostesses wanted.”
In Denver, Rebecca was looking for someone to “Help me celebrate democracy,” under an ad titled “DNC Delight.”
Now, if I was placing an ad in Craig’s List for either convention, I’d personally go with the following:
HORNY POLITICIAN WANTED
“Looking for a really old, bald, ugly, small-dicked, possibly overweight politician to screw his brains out, “accidentally” get pregnant with, and then blackmail him for everything he’s got.
Must have own teeth – I hate it when you nasty dudes take out your teeth and forget them on my bedside table.
Oh, and one VERY IMPORTANT requirement: don’t forget your wallet.
If you’re interested, call Gold Diggin’ Ho at 555-1212.”
What? It could happen…