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Tammy Faye Back From the Dead. My Bad – It’s Just Pam Anderson.

3First things first. For all of the men out there that like to spank it to Pam Anderson from time to time, you may want to put your boners and hand lotion away before reading this post any further.

Legal Disclaimer to All Men: I WILL NOT be responsible for whatever happens to your peckers if you choose to keep them out while reading this post.

Now that we got all of the legal shit out of the way, let me just say that I never thought that Pam was a really hot chick. She seems like a super cool chick and has a really cute and bubbly personality, but I always thought that Carmen Electra was much hotter in the looks department.

Okay, okay. I’m sure there’s a lot of horny men out there that would love to wring my little opinionated neck right about now, but I implore you to check out the photographic evidence below before proceeding with my murder.

I found a photographic gem of lil’ Pammy on (love you Perez!) today and my first thought was, “Damn, that Tammy Faye came back to life. I knew it! The nuns always said it mattered how many Hail Marys you said every day. I KNEW those bitches were lying.”

May I present to you a photo of the late Tammy Faye Bakker:

Shown on

Shown on

And a recent photo of the “gorgeous” Ms. Anderson:

Shown on

Shown on

So, do you guys still want to wring my neck? Trust me, your boners will thank you later.


Christian Bale and B.S. Allegations of Assault

Photo courtesy of

Image courtesy of

I woke up today and logged into my Bloglines account to read all of this morning’s headlines and expected to see another gazillion articles about The Dark Knight. (all well-deserved, of course). But lo and behold, I was not prepared for what I saw plastered all over the place.

I read some crap from The Sun (England’s version of The Enquirer, if that gives you any indication of how trustworthy the source is) that Christian was arrested for assaulting his mom and sister. And then that article spread like wildfire to other blogs and by that time, bloggers were reporting that Bale beat the crap out of his family.

The first thought that came to mind is, “Bullshit.”

Now, I wasn’t thinking this because I’m a huge Christian Bale fanatic, but because in the 20 years he’s been in the biz, he’s never received any negative press. And I think that speaks a lot about his character. He’s not into the Hollywood B.S. and that’s what makes me respect him even that much more.

If you ask me, Mom & Sis are probably hitting him up for some moolah now that The Dark Knight has broken about 8 records and raked in over $158M this past weekend. I don’t recall hearing about any “assaults” after Rescue Dawn or 3:10 to Yuma premiered. Huh. Very interesting…

I know all about family bullshit and backstabbing when it comes to money, so I feel really bad for him right now (if that is the case). He’s worked so hard for his success and deserves every bit of it. So step off, bitches! Give the man some room. He’s Batman, for Chrissakes!

And for all of the morons writing stories about how he HIT his mom and sister, I think you should research what an assault actually is before writing something so libelous. Battery is hitting, assault is not. Get your shit straight before writing about it. Professionals, my ass.

Thank God one blogger has a clue, and it’s actually Perez Hilton. Nice job, Perez. He had a feeling from the start that something smelled fishy and it wasn’t Bale.

And it seems that Todd over at shares the same sentiments and wrote a post of his own today. By the way Todd, I loved the ‘Batman voice’ line. I giggled my little ass off when I read that. Well done.

Hang in there, Christian. The truth always comes out, no matter how much crap you need to shovel before you get to it.

However, you might want to think about wearing a nice pair of rubber boots for awhile…